@curlycomedy Songs with lyrics like, “We don’t need sleep,” why are you rebelling against naps? What are you–four?
@curlycomedy 
@curlycomedy When people write, “your dumb,” maybe it’s not a typo–they just mean stupidity belongs to you. “Here’s your dumb now leave.”
@curlycomedy The Katy Perry song that goes, “You’re hot and you’re cold,” was actually about a microwaveable burrito.
@curlycomedy Someone accused me of spending too much time on the Internet. I don’t know what to say. I am so full of emoticons right now.
@curlycomedy Clue is a wonderful game that teaches children about murder.
@curlycomedy At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting.