Heading to therapy. Let’s all cross our fingers that some good therapist jokes come out of this.
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own food choices.
A high school student just asked if Titanic was based on a true story. Happy Friday.
In one class I have a Bella, an Ella, an Eli and an Ellie. Say those names quickly three times in a row and Bloody Mary appears to steal your freshly sharpened pencils.
Just tracked down a student to ask where his amazing looking sandwich was from and he didn’t know. How is this possible.
I have more pictures of food on my phone than I do of my children.
My favorite thing about teaching high school is when a student turns something in a week late and then emails two hours later because I haven’t graded it yet. It’s great.
Hi, I joined a cult.
*got an air fryer
I carry deodorant in my purse in case I need it or to casually wipe on strangers.
Cryptocurrency, but it’s just dead people buying stuff.
Accidentally opened the Facebook app and now I’m in three pyramid schemes.
If uneven eyeliner ever becomes a trend, I am golden.
Gonna get a job at Starbucks and write “Chad” on every cup.
Him: Do you gamble?
Me: I don’t even sneeze without crossing my legs.
I don’t understand why my AirPods aren’t working right I’ve only sent them through the laundry twice.