Woke last night to the sound of thunder, that last bean burrito was a blunder 馃幎
Can’t, going through the work email I just wrote with a fine tooth comb to eliminate all traces of sarcasm, opinionation, and existential despair.
My boss says that I have some exciting new assignments coming, whoa buddy, I will be the judge of that.
Why is it called maple syrup instead of “log jam”?
11 famous chickens who flew the coop, number 7 will surprise you
– cluckbait
Miss Pissy Face and Mr Crabby Pants in HR told me I am not allowed to make up nicknames for my co-workers anymore.
When I was younger, I always wanted to become a Gregorian monk.
Unfortunately, I never had the chants
I wanted a 6 pack, so I started Hip Hop abs.
Quit 1/3 of the way through.
Ended up with a 2Pac.