@fillthevacuum Oh, those stick figures on your car aren’t for the bike riders you hit?
*removes 14 stick figures from car*
@fillthevacuum @fillthevacuum *steals all the clocks*
*has all the time in the world*
@fillthevacuum *rides off into the sunset*
*rides back to get SPF 50 sunblock*
*rides off into the sunset*
@fillthevacuum *seductively removes toilet paper from bottom of shoe*
@fillthevacuum Please be the blood from a horse’s head
Please be the blood from a horse’s head
Please be the blo…
Nope, just peed the bed again
@fillthevacuum Hey girl, heaven must be missing an angel….cause it looks like you ate one
@fillthevacuum *tries hard*
*fails*
*tries flaccid*
@fillthevacuum *gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*
@fillthevacuum The vegetable crisper or as I call it, the cold garbage can.
@fillthevacuum Why do we never see “Side effects may include spontaneous happiness, explosive giggling, uncontrollable hugging, and diarrhea”?