Yeah, conservatives. I will marry a dog. I’ll marry 12 dogs. I’m a dog mormon now.
I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
All of these time capsules I just dug up have bodies in them?
Remember in 90’s movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That’s what happens when I walk in a buffet.
There aren’t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
Having no tattoos in 2014, is like having tattoos in 1967.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
1.) Go to Yoga class
2.) Compliment some people on their mats
3.) Unroll 20×25 oriental rug.