@hipstermermaid I got 99 problems and they’re all friend requests from people I didn’t like in high school.
@hipstermermaid I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.
@hipstermermaid 10 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU’RE CURRENTLY READING A LIST
@hipstermermaid “Don’t hate me ‘cause you ain’t me.”
“No, I hate you ‘cause you say stuff like that.”
@hipstermermaid Dance like you won’t be turned into a gif.
@hipstermermaid It’s amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature’s wonders!
@hipstermermaid Now I can’t wear my nude crystal dress this weekend.
Thanks, Rihanna.
@hipstermermaid Arcade Fire: great band / nerd way to die
@hipstermermaid Do you like Taco Bell? Then you’ll LOVE real food!
@hipstermermaid Call your laptop what it really is: Bed TV.