Person: Raise your glasses!
Me: Hahaha! *raises bottle*
Raise the roof!
The roof is on fire!
Hit the club!
Bust those moves!
Burning the dance floor!
– RL partying sounds so violent
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
For lent, I’m going to give up sexual innuendos but it’s hard… so hard!
Boss: Lunch meeting, let’s go.
Me: Do I have to?
Boss: Free food and unlimited alcohol.
Me: *moonwalks to the car*
Why do some people call it a “tuna-fish” sandwich? It’s not like anyone calls it a “chicken-bird” sandwich.