@josephknuckles

all I wanna do is
[gunshot noise]
[gunshot noise]
[gunshot noise]
[gunshot noise]
[gunshot noise]
move to a safer neighborhood

@josephknuckles

*peeing in the urinal at McDonalds*
*turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal*
“So, what did you order?”

@josephknuckles

“Robin, I don’t care how much you love that show. We’re not opening the batcave to Storage Wars.”- Batman.

@josephknuckles

*wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months*

“Have you had the kid yet?”
-No
“Well, I’m level 77 on candy crush.”