My son’s kindergarten teacher wanted to chat with me today because my son told his class that his mom died… and came back to life!
When your kid says “I told you I knew how to be good” and you start getting flashbacks of all the times when they didn’t know at all
My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone else’s house because he says we go to our house a lot
I was pretty frustrated when my 5yo kept calling me an “old man” until he clarified that being old meant that I was 20
5: I can count to 90!
Me: Really? Show me!
5: Ok here we go…
Me: Nailed it.
I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said “I don’t like bending down anymore”
I took my 4yo to the playground for the first time in months and based on what I’m seeing I think they’re teaching parkour in kindergarten these days
Being a parent is having your kid say “I went to school today and I didn’t even lose my donkey” and you know exactly what they mean
My 4yo said he was playing at lunch with a girl from his class at school.
Me: Which game were you playing?
4: Lava Queen and Assistant!
Me: Let me guess. You were the assistant?
4: How did you know, daddy?!
“All my friends at school do not listen to me!”
– My 4yo who doesn’t listen to me