@kevinthedad

My son’s kindergarten teacher wanted to chat with me today because my son told his class that his mom died… and came back to life!

@kevinthedad

When your kid says “I told you I knew how to be good” and you start getting flashbacks of all the times when they didn’t know at all

@kevinthedad

My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone else’s house because he says we go to our house a lot

@kevinthedad

I was pretty frustrated when my 5yo kept calling me an “old man” until he clarified that being old meant that I was 20

@kevinthedad

5: I can count to 90!

Me: Really? Show me!

5: Ok here we go…

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
90

Me: Nailed it.

@kevinthedad

I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said “I don’t like bending down anymore”

@kevinthedad

I took my 4yo to the playground for the first time in months and based on what I’m seeing I think they’re teaching parkour in kindergarten these days

@kevinthedad

Being a parent is having your kid say “I went to school today and I didn’t even lose my donkey” and you know exactly what they mean

@kevinthedad

My 4yo said he was playing at lunch with a girl from his class at school.

Me: Which game were you playing?

4: Lava Queen and Assistant!

Me: Let me guess. You were the assistant?

4: How did you know, daddy?!

Daddy knows.

@kevinthedad

“All my friends at school do not listen to me!”

– My 4yo who doesn’t listen to me