“SELF CARE!” I scream as my trench coat full of monkeys scurries toward everyone’s wallets and watches.
I have a huge advantage in Wordle because I have had the alphabet memorized for over 10 years.
When I die, please don’t blame the year. Blame the alligator responsible.
Hey “La La Land” remember when you gave us that fake happy ending and then took it away
How’s it feel
Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS
Nice try “Marco Rubio” — or should I say…
The genie sang that whole song about how he’s gonna be Aladdin’s best friend ever right in front of the monkey
But if two men get married, they’ll BOTH be stupid in detergent commercials and then no one will buy the correct detergent.
Good news class—you are exactly 9 years old, so from here on out, we’ll exclusively be reading books where the dog dies.