[slight drizzle outside]
Other motorists: oh no ah what is this wetness I forget how to drive
My kid has the wildest imagination, there isn’t even a wait when she’s playing doctor
My kid informed me that her favourite salad is butter and I felt that
The Flintstones will forever live on in our hearts and vitamins
Apparently hitting a butterfly with my car is “not a valid reason to call 911” and I “need to grow up”
Him: that only took me 90 seconds! New record! HIGH FIVE!
Me:
I’m fine, doctor. My heart rate was elevated because I was thinking about tacos
The Weeknd is Canadian, he should be adding letters to his name not removing them
Genie: what is your first wish
Me: can you fold this fitted sheet please
G: I’m a genie not a witch
Damn boy are you a stormtrooper, because you’re never gonna hit this