@kryzazzy

Is it just me or does this cat look like someone’s grandpa

@kryzazzy

I’d like to wish a very happy 5th birthday to the jar of salsa in my fridge

@kryzazzy

Who needs human contact when you can just cuddle a pile of clothes fresh out of the dryer

@kryzazzy

Pretty convinced that my left eyebrow and my right eyebrow belong to two different people with very different lifestyles

@kryzazzy

Don’t give up on your dreams, if cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles then you too can be anything you want

@kryzazzy

Got kicked out of the grocery store again for reenacting the pottery scene from Ghost with a wheel of cheese.
I dunno, maybe stop playing “Unchained Melody” on the loud speaker and we won’t keep having this problem

@kryzazzy

I’m exactly like Rambo if his bandolier was full of breakfast sandwiches