Hi you’ve reached my voicemail, this is by far one of the absolute worst ways to get in touch with me….leave a message.
I need to work on controlling the look on my face when I’m listening to stupid people.
court: counsel why are you yelling your questions from back there?
me: i’ve got my phone plugged in back here your honor.
Them: sir there’s no food allowed in here.
Me: this is my service burrito.
Your honor? My client would like to address the court and ruin everything.
*throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*
Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You’ll be fine.
First they ignore your fanny pack, then they laugh at your fanny pack, then they see you eat gummy bears from your fanny pack, then you win.
If your entire outfit can be purchased at a gas station it’s not appropriate for court.
Hey people who don’t understand sarcasm, what’s it like being so awesome?