goddammit a coworker followed me on twitter.
i’m not talking about you barbara you’re super cool.
when the author kills off your favorite character 😭😭😭
i’ve had this nightmare before 😱
must be a load-bearing face plate. don’t want it coming loose.
not to brag, but mine was free
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many bowling pins you knock down, but whether or not you got a better score than the children playing in the lane next to you.
i think my razor is having a panic attack
this kangaroo looks like it smells like AXE body spray
I taught my 7yo chess and she’s created a lengthy backstory about how this once-peaceful community came to odds and a lengthy battle ensued. I am now of the mind that all chess should have a plot.
breakfast, the most important beer of the day
my house isn’t haunted i just have kids. shit goes missing at random. doors are left open. faucets left running. and don’t get me started on the screams.
“so what brings you to therapy today?”
Dance like you know what you’re supposed to do with your arms while dancing
financial advisor: what are your retirement goals?
all i want is to be as happy as this potato
same vibe as tangled headphones
yes yes a thousand times yes!
CTRL + C and CTRL + V another window
all my demons came for free. these must be organic.