I forget, are you supposed to be happy when you see their exes are ugly, or worried that you might be ugly too?
*pulls pristine, luscious lips out of an ornate golden box*
“Actually, THIS is the mouth I kiss my mother with”
Did you know that by today’s standards Marilyn Monroe would be considered dead?
Stop pissing me off or I’ll marry you
Oh no I just accidentally did everything wrong all my life