@mazizkhalifa

I accidentally took a woman’s multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat

@mazizkhalifa

People who copy and paste jokes from facebook are idiots…
A few seconds ago • Comment • Like

@mazizkhalifa

Sometimes I type a ‘C’ when I meant to type an ‘A’. And now I have to apologize to my ‘Aunt’

@mazizkhalifa

I keep having this dream that I’m being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?

@mazizkhalifa

90 people have swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom.