@michimama75

“I love potatoes in my mouth!!”
Ok, yes kid, we all do but you gotta be way more chill about it

@michimama75

They say you should do something every day that scares you so I napped without the little pillow between my knees and now my lower back is terrified.

@michimama75

I’m used to my kid bursting into the bathroom with random objects but I had to draw the line today at bringing in binoculars and her cousin.

@michimama75

Sometimes parenthood is having to say “please don’t throw your beef stick at me” with a straight face.

@michimama75

Some parenting days swing very quickly and extremely between “I’d die for my kid” and “I know why some animals eat their young”.

@michimama75

5: Lucas said he would give me $100 if I go to his birthday party. But I would go for free. But I didn’t tell him that.

Me: I have nothing left to teach you, my child

@michimama75

5: I’m bad at this puzzle

Me: you’re trying your best! Mommy has a hard time with that one too!

5: yeah, because you’re bad at it

@michimama75

My battle cry is, I’M TRYING TO PEE! STOP KNOCKING ON THE DOOR!!

And 5’s battle cry is, I’M NOT KNOCKING ON THE DOOR! I’M KNOCKING ON THE WALL NEXT TO THE DOOR!

@michimama75

Is there anything more infuriating than the text you get confirming you’ve unsubscribed from the text chain you just unsubscribed from?