@mxmclain

When you finally manage to get the piece of popcorn out of your teeth

@mxmclain

Stranger: You look just like a friend of mine
Me: She sounds really pretty

@mxmclain

When my husband is mad at me,
I like to point at my wedding ring
and whisper “forever”

@mxmclain

Describe yourself in four bold words and two exclamation points
Me:

@mxmclain

My kid systematically checks me for weakness like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park testing the fence