@mydmac *answers phone call from boss*
I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK!
@mydmac @mydmac According to the law it’s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
@mydmac Doctor: are you sexually active?
Me: why, what have you heard?
@mydmac I love eating Swiss pancakes. They’re like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want.
@mydmac I prefer to date a man after I see how well he treats his wife.
@mydmac I really wish my twitter crush would scream out my name instead of ‘hey you’ every time he catches me in the tree in his front yard.
@mydmac According to this grocery list I’ve written on my hand, I’ve invented a new language.
@mydmac DM:You’re so hot, wanna Skype?
Me: it is quite hot, and a skype sounds delicious. Is that vodka?
DM:
ME:hello…you there
@mydmac You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.