I possess a devastating combination of perfectionism and incompetence
Just as the prophecy foretold
If you’re an adorable old person in a romcom, you’ve got a massive target on your back
Every woman says she wants to be treated like a princess, until you try to marry her off to your most powerful ally.
I can’t stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can’t take it.