@noduffers

Is there anything less intimidating than a cop on a bicycle?

Wobble on, agent of justice, wobble on.

@noduffers

I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you’re looking for metaphors, I’m probably the grapefruit.

@noduffers

Him: Your beautiful….
Me: My beautiful what? My beautiful WHAT?!!

@noduffers

If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream.

Bring it.