@petemandik

In the future I will replace my feet with chainsaws after accidentally cutting them off with my chainsaw hands.

@petemandik

Scientists report global context shortage. “I guess I’ll have flan,” some scientist said, totally out of context.

@petemandik

I believe:
– I can fly.
– Children are the future.
– Knowledge is power.
– I will use my powers to defeat the future children.

@petemandik

ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth

@petemandik

Pretty insulting when you wake up in a bathtub of ice and they left all your organs.

@petemandik

I’d be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe.

@petemandik

Ugh, once again scratched my monocle falling asleep on my pile of gold coins.