@rad_milk going over to my buddy’s house and opening all of his treasure chests to see if there’s any items in there that i need
@rad_milk 
@rad_milk uber driver picked me up “dodger stadium? you goin to the game?” i was like “nah” and we both sat there in silence for the whole ride, both knowing i had lied
@rad_milk taking a hotdog out of the microwave and checking it with a meat thermometer then frowning and putting it back in
@rad_milk finally
@rad_milk [nudging the person next to me on the bus until they remove their earbuds]
hey i think i saw a horse a couple miles back
@rad_milk yall can name 10 kardashians but you can’t name 10 jesuses
@rad_milk break the monotony of your uber driver’s day by saying “sorry about your car” as you get out
@rad_milk DATE: so tell me something about yourself
ME: i am older than every dog
@rad_milk yo LA chill out with your restaurant names
@rad_milk [goes up to a pair of identical twins]
so how did yall meet