I’m a really great friend – provided you don’t have any other friends to compare me with and never listen to my advice.
I wear my wedding ring everyday so I know my right hand from my left hand, incase the man of my dreams asks me for directions.
I hate it when I speak French to the homeless guy saying I don’t understand English and he replies in French so I have to give him money.
Nothing makes me scream louder during sex than when my husband calls to let me know he’s on his way home from work.
My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn’t enough time.