not sure why everyone acts like it’s so hard to make plans with your friends as an adult because my friend and I just planned our hangout tomorrow in 5 minutes and it only took us 3 months to find a day that works
I have very conflicting feelings about getting murdered because on one hand I’d be dead but on the other hand I’d be making sure female podcasters had content and I love women supporting women
anytime I meet someone who doesn’t like dogs I assume their backstory is that they were cut from their high school basketball team because airbud took their spot
When you’re Godzilla every city is a walkable city
Apparently I’m only fluent in English until it comes time to leave a voicemail
as someone who lives on earth rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid? I’m intrigued
it’s not really fair to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up because as a kid I had no idea being a podcast cohost who does no research and just gasps or laughs was an option
if I wasn’t supposed to grow up to want a sugar daddy why did we base an entire holiday around a much older man bringing me presents for being a good girl
I don’t trust scrapbookers because I feel it’s a slippery slope to ransom letters
I should be able to preheat my bed like an oven
my tattoos don’t make me unprofessional, my desire to not work does
October already? What’s next? November????
I always set two wake up alarms, one for the person I want to be and one for the person I am
challenging Dwayne Johnson to a fight and showing up with the biggest paper bag you’ve ever seen
modern restaurant names either tell you everything about them or nothing. It’s either ‘meat and bread’ or it’s ‘effervescent’ but either way you’re paying $16 for a cocktail