I’m not naked I’m wearing a hair tie, officer
My sister sent me a picture of us when we were teenagers with a caption “look how pretty you used to be”
Dated this guy who took me to his parents Christmas party. They put out a punch bowl and I threw my date’s and his dad’s car keys in it
Where there’s a will there’s a way. You just have to be nice to your rich aunt
Parents would stop celebrating thier children’s first steps if they knew what was about to go down after they master that shit