How dare the delivery guy ring my doorbell and disturb me with a package that I ordered.
“Mommy never mind I’ll ask you later when you’re not scooping the phone out of the toilet.”
– My current favorite child
Please give us space to grieve as I “made” my 7 yr old lose his basketball video game this morning by asking his brother if he wants watermelon with his French toast in the next room.
Me working remotely from home:
“Sorry I’m late to the Zoom, I got caught up in another *meeting that ran over.”
*moving laundry from washer to dryer
Sometimes I like to think that at the end of a long day, the chips and dip in my kitchen see me and think, “We thought you’d never come back for us!”
My special skill is making detailed shopping lists and leaving them at home when I go to the store.
Overheard in hair salon: “I have LITERALLY no shorts. Like I seriously have only 4 or 5 pairs of shorts.”
This is why I can’t stand people.
People who can get up to pee in the middle of the night and fall right back to sleep, explain yourselves.
8: “Ugh having a mom is so stressful”
– My son when I asked him to hold the door open for me
“It’s like they’re not even impressed that this fits inside my nostril.”
I’m at the “my 7 yr old gave himself a hickey on his arm” part of the parenting journey.