[Being murdered]
You’re on my hair
I’m single and proud of it!
* Flips hair
* Trips over cat
The Cheesecake Factory is finally coming to Canada!
…now I can stop being so nice to the Americans.
[First date]
Me: What do you prefer, flat or sparkling?
Him: Water?
Me: No, my personality.
*Snowstorm on it’s way*
America – we need to stock up on bread and milk!
Canadians – better hit the beer store.