Bond. Trauma bond.
People: Let us know if you need help!
Me: Okay I need help
Look, I can either get over my ex or go on a diet but I can’t do both.
*sends ex’s coordinates to wayward rocket*
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a mirror, asking to be possessed by a poltergeist that loves to clean and fold laundry.
The receptionist at the doc’s office today kept pulling her mask down to talk to me and I-
This household only uses the finest of cat hair on its sandwiches.
If only we’d had some kind of warning that a pandemic would pandemic.
Hot single narcissists in your area want to be rude to you and then pretend nothing happened.
Nothing is as heavy as a page that needs turning.
Me, 48 hrs after agreeing to let shit go: “Okay, lemme ask you somethin-“
Person: I like you
Me: *eyes narrow* Why
Ancient proverbs say “Nobody sleeps when the cat’s bowl is empty”.
Why am I single? *wipes hands on shirt like a napkin* Beats me.
Be like a cat and never give up on closed doors.