Her: I want you to wreck my guts
Me: *undercooks her chicken*
Friend: I can’t stand one-uppers.
Me: I can’t stand them more.
My mom, doing a crossword puzzle, asked me for a rapper named Dr. ___. I replied Dre, and she said “oh yeah I forgot about him”. She has no clue how funny this is.
Before you say you want to be treated like a king or queen, just remember that a lot of them were beheaded.
I like a woman that makes me feel alive, but also lets me know that it might not be for long.
She kept yelling “Choke!, Choke!” to me during sex.
So rude. Why would she want me to have a bad performance?
Stealing being illegal is why I can’t have nice things.
They add a scent to natural gas so we can smell it if there’s a leak and we’re in danger. Same reason Axe Body Spray has a scent.
I’m fat, so when I get mad, I get massive aggressive.