@surrealvehicle i’m just in the middle of doing some push ups. well actually i’ve just dropped a packet of M&Ms and i’m searching for the ones that rolled under my couch but same thing right
@surrealvehicle @surrealvehicle me: we have developed a fear of boy bands
wife: at the same time
therapist: in sync?
together: *screams*
@surrealvehicle me: what do you want from me
wife: a divorce
me: i meant for christmas