*going through airport security*
My brain: what if you’re secretly a drug dealer? What if you packed a gun you don’t own? Are you absolutely sure you didn’t accidentally fill your pockets with explosives?
God grant me the witchcraft to change the things I cannot accept.
If you’re afraid of getting fat, drink a little before eating. The alcohol should reduce the fear.
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?”
Facebook is worse than my parents.
Me: So, you come here often?
Him: …..we’re in my house.
It’s funny how all those “best places in the world” lists always forget to include the Internet.
When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed.