@trevso_electric Gum commercials exaggerate your odds of kissing a complete stranger in public by 780,000,000%
@trevso_electric @trevso_electric If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
@trevso_electric Guantanamo Bae
@trevso_electric It’s summer. We’re young. Let’s sneak into someone else’s pool and skinnydip. If we get caught, we stab them and assume their identities.
@trevso_electric Welcome to earth! You have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life & bleeds or the constant bad decision maker?
@trevso_electric Real House Wines.
@trevso_electric Welcome to Cupcake Yoga! NomNomaste.
@trevso_electric Next on CNN, 600 hours of guessing what happened to a plane.
@trevso_electric Ask your Doctor if Adderall can help you vigorously scrub your floors and alphabetize your clothing instead of studying.
@trevso_electric Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won’t understand how many calories are in it.