@trevso_electric

Gum commercials exaggerate your odds of kissing a complete stranger in public by 780,000,000%

@trevso_electric

If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.

@trevso_electric

It’s summer. We’re young. Let’s sneak into someone else’s pool and skinnydip. If we get caught, we stab them and assume their identities.

@trevso_electric

Welcome to earth! You have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life & bleeds or the constant bad decision maker?

@trevso_electric

Ask your Doctor if Adderall can help you vigorously scrub your floors and alphabetize your clothing instead of studying.

@trevso_electric

Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won’t understand how many calories are in it.