@trevso_electric

Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for “superficial”? “Shallow”? “Slave”? Or “soon to be obsolete”?

@trevso_electric

Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.

@trevso_electric

Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer.

@trevso_electric

I don’t have ADD. It’s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.

@trevso_electric

I got this “breathe” tattoo on my wrist because I don’t have a central nervous system and it’s a helpful reminder.

@trevso_electric

“Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we’ll call you a liar.”
-insurance

@trevso_electric

Talking about your ex makes it sound like you’re not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person.

@trevso_electric

And on the second day, God created the sunset and He saw that it was good but decided it would looketh better with the Amaro filter.

@trevso_electric

Trev’s antisocial challenge: walk up to the first coworker you see and say, “I’m sorry you feel threatened by my triceps.”

@trevso_electric

Just once, I’d like to see an honest Facebook status, like “happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!”