♫ Is this the real life?
Are you a manatee?
Let’s beat up french fries
I should lay off the LSD ♫
♫ Hey cow
You’re an all star
You are grain fed
You are ground down
Who the hell called them deadbeat dads instead of negli-gents?
“Eat your dinner so that lamb didn’t die for nothing” – will ensure you get your daughter’s helping, too.
My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can’t afford another malpractice suit.
If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield’s, I’d probably shit my pants.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn’t leave much room. It’s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
I hate it when I forget to cut the tags off my sandwich and everyone’s like “New sandwich?”
While hiking last May, a lesbian deer told me she’s unsure of her sexual preference. Not a gay doe’s bi that I don’t think about it.
A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe?
John Cougar Melon Camp