@velvettusk

My car, spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of ppl, & my Korean friend screams”HIT THE BLAKES” & I’m like”I CANT BE THAT SELECTIVE”

@velvettusk

It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt…and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back.

@velvettusk

I always wanted to run a pharmacy and put “Seriously, TMI” on all the receipts.

@velvettusk

I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts.