@venomjunkie2

My horoscope was so wrong today I’m beginning to doubt the science behind this life planning tool.

@venomjunkie2

I keep a banana in my pocket just in case, because I’m really not glad to see anybody.

@venomjunkie2

My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?

@venomjunkie2

I caught a wild peeve, but it’s always bothered me when people make pets of things so I let it go.