What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you.
Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk.
Met someone on Craigslist, guess I’m dating a grill now.
No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat!
*throws cat at Kinko’s employee
The average person swallows 3 cats on their drive home from work.
Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet.
Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Sorry I misunderstood BYOB, what should I do with this buffalo?
Yes, 911, that guy just fed my house letters again.
Sorry I ate your frisbee bro, I thought it was a tortilla, I like to eat tortillas I find at the park.