@weinerdog4life

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you.

@weinerdog4life

Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk.

@weinerdog4life

No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat!

*throws cat at Kinko’s employee

@weinerdog4life

Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet.

@weinerdog4life

Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.

@weinerdog4life

Sorry I ate your frisbee bro, I thought it was a tortilla, I like to eat tortillas I find at the park.