@yoyoha

“I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT” – Guy who named the sweater.

@yoyoha

“There’s a sleeping person. Let’s go ask it questions.” – Children

@yoyoha

How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything’s going to be alright

@yoyoha

If you love someone:
1. Set them free
2. Drunk dial them
3. Read too much into their FB posts
4. Make them feel sorry for you
5. Die alone

@yoyoha

If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes.

@yoyoha

The Earth gets a day, Sharks get a week. That sounds about right.

@yoyoha

“I don’t even own a book” – Medieval Hipster

@yoyoha

Dear Religion,

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Love, Science

@yoyoha

“No new iPhone, I just wanted to talk about my feelings” – Tim Cook, hopefully

@yoyoha

I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That’s the problem w/commercials! They’re not long enough!