“I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT” – Guy who named the sweater.
“There’s a sleeping person. Let’s go ask it questions.” – Children
How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything’s going to be alright
If you love someone:
1. Set them free
2. Drunk dial them
3. Read too much into their FB posts
4. Make them feel sorry for you
5. Die alone
If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes.
The Earth gets a day, Sharks get a week. That sounds about right.
“I don’t even own a book” – Medieval Hipster
Pics or it didn’t happen.
“No new iPhone, I just wanted to talk about my feelings” – Tim Cook, hopefully
I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That’s the problem w/commercials! They’re not long enough!