Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald’s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.

You Might Also Like


good news and bad news. bad news is the dog pissed on the bed
“we don’t have a dog”
*smiles getting ready to deliver the good news*


Suit: It says here you’re “dramatic” and “nonsensical”?

Me [forward somersault, grabs resume]: Sorry that’s a typo, it should say “sandpaper pickles”.


Young mom: My baby is 34 months
Me: Oh really I’m 407 months yeah I hope you like doing math you piece of shit


Captain America outsources much of his crime fighting to Captain India.


[my husband turning onto our street]

“know what I think?”

husband: you don’t have to say it everytime.

“we’ve been down this road before”


I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.


If you’re not suppose to eat late at night, then why is there a light in the refrigerator?!