@YayForJam

Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo

You Might Also Like

@Chhapiness

grandmas be like imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings

@twayne1010

If Oprah took over Favstar, everyone would get a trophy.

@1Happytwit

If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply “I’m a lunatic” they won’t ask any more questions.

@NourHadidi

Arguing with your parents is like trying to explain how to download music from iTunes to a plant.

@AsgardianRose

In third grade a boy gave me a valentine that said “You’re the Obi Wan for me” and that’s the highlight of my entire dating experience.

@KattsDogma

“How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund.”
– How ING Bank got its name

@starwarsshirt

I don’t have jealousy issues, but I do have “flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you” issues.

@Bexdora

INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically?
ME:
IN: Is this an ability you have always had?
ME:
IN: Please say something.