Jeff: I’m in for littering what are YOU in for?
*walks out of prison, a free man.
*guards shouting from gate
“From! At! For! With!”
“Oh, we always end sentences with a preposition”
You Might Also Like
imagime if introverts were as aggresive to extroverts as extroverts r to introverts
“why do u hav to socialize”
“why dont u stay in”
I don’t pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald’s sued me for illegal use of the double arches.
You’ve won this round supervisor, but accidentally leave your Ok Cupid profile open one more time and you’ll be a transgender time traveler.
This is a baby horse: it can walk 4 hours after it’s born
This is a baby human: don’t touch its head wrong or you’ll bonk its brain
*thinks my friend Liz’s full first name is Lizard* Lizard. Listen to me. Why are you laughing. Lizard be serious. Lizard please
Him: This is the best sand castle I’ve ever built!
Her: We’re gonna die in this desert aren’t we?
That’s shocking!! Hold on.
*quickly draws overly arched eyebrows*
Ok. Go on.
New hobby: Swap text for sponsored ads
From now on, when you see the word “minimum”, good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.