@EndhooS Boss “Are you high?”
If I was high could I do this?
*opens a tube of Pringles and eats only 1 of them*
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@EndhooS 
@DaddyJew Well thank you auto correct for changing “I wish you were here” to “I wish you were her”. I didn’t wanna have sex anyways.
@HRTSMRT Many people make the mistake of assuming @funTweeters is a bot without realizing that there are clearly real human emotions at stake. Follow
@mariana057 NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to the aliens, they are calling it, “Apollo G”
@bridger_w Yelp review: Excellent food, friendly service. That said, I did notice a smudge on a window and was forced to set the building on fire
@Elizasoul80 I hope to be a cat in my next life so that I can make someone’s life more fulfilling without actually having to do anything for them.
@blob_of_light Penelope wasn’t really GREAT at hide and seek, but we always appreciated her efforts
@AmyGDalaMD For anyone who needs this today
@badbanana The world is my oyster. Too expensive to enjoy every day.
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