@Mom_Overboard I stepped in water with my socks on, you guys go on without me
@Tmoney68 Went in for my checkup yesterday. Hernia & prostate exams are really uncomfortable, but he’s a great dentist so I let it go.
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@Mom_Overboard 
@PettyRuxpin83 I don’t always pick my nose in front of the window but when I do a neighbor will inevitably drive by
@SortaBad The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken
@RichHarris2 You can’t force someone to love you. All you can do is hire a panda suit and wait outside their window reading sonnets.
@DBMaxP Let’s settle this like men… men with bad judgment & unlimited water balloons
@MichaelTrying It’s the anniversary of Tetris. We should have a block party.
@AbbyHasIssues I like to take down Christmas decorations in stages. Right now in the stage where I sit on the couch with a cup of tea in denial that I need to take down the Christmas decorations.
@NoTheOtherJohn *doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don’t stand for national anthem*
@TweetPotato314 [Road trip]
me: *pops in disc* don’t talk while this is on
kids: it’s just a blank CD
me: SHHH
@SladeWentworth I think my wife discovered that I opened a new bag of chips before the old one was finished. Just in case I suddenly disappear.