What do bats eat that makes their shit our standard for crazy?

You Might Also Like


Just saw an eagle swoop down and pick up a baby bunny, so cute when animals are friends!


[while listening to halloween sounds cd I bought] spooky huh [friend on road trip with me] yeah but got anythin else its like a 6 hour drive


Wait. They gave out a Pulitzer Prize for criticism, and my mother didn’t win it?


“You saw nothing.”

-me, to the neighbor kids about the toy I just shoved in the trash


I’m taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can’t lose them there, I’ll try the mall again.


Flirting is a way of life, the moment you stop is when you’re dead … then your spouse cleans the gun and places it in your hand.


Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?


The number of Piña coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn’t want to cruise with me again) many.