@MissBamanthaa
@shutupmikeginn Just saw an eagle swoop down and pick up a baby bunny, so cute when animals are friends!
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@shutupmikeginn 
@murrman5 [while listening to halloween sounds cd I bought] spooky huh [friend on road trip with me] yeah but got anythin else its like a 6 hour drive
@ElayneBoosler Wait. They gave out a Pulitzer Prize for criticism, and my mother didn’t win it?
@RidiculousSheri Jesus has seen me naked and that’s why he made me funny.
@PetrickSara “You saw nothing.”
-me, to the neighbor kids about the toy I just shoved in the trash
@billcheek26 I’m taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can’t lose them there, I’ll try the mall again.
@FredPollack Flirting is a way of life, the moment you stop is when you’re dead … then your spouse cleans the gun and places it in your hand.
@Talk_To_The_Hat Yup….perfect score!
@TheAlexP Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?
@LostFelicia The number of Piña coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn’t want to cruise with me again) many.