WHAT IF LIBRARIES HAD POSTED MEMES IN THE EIGHTIES: a thread
You Might Also Like
Me:You have your good days. You have your bad days.
Wife: WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?!
*getting a deli sandwich*
person making sandwich: only 1 piece of cheese?
me: yes
person: u can have 3 pieces of cheese for the same price
me: that’s ok I’m good
person: it’s FREE cheese tho
me: I don’t want that much cheese
person: *yelling* ITS FREE CHEESE
Inflatable mattresses are great if you like your bed to slowly eat you.
Be nice to your family. They get to pick the picture that will be in your obituary.
Finally got my treadmill setup. I can start making excuses why I’m not using it starting tomorrow.
Texts “Are you okay?” Blink 3 times. No need to reply.
Jokes on you, inflation, I’ll never stop buying peanut butter.
Is your refrigerator running?
Because I might vote for it.
Oh, you’re a fan of The Chainsmokers?
Name 3 chains they’ve smoked
Me: I’m feeling short of breath.
Her: Maybe it’s because you just climbed the stairs after eating an entire party-sized bag of chips?
Me: *rolls eyes* I didn’t put the chips in my lungs, Brenda.
Alcohol won’t solve my problems, but neither will milk or orange juice.
[In line at Starbucks]
[Woman behind me talking] I work in an office with 50% men so-
[Excitedly turn around] OMG YOU WORK WITH CENTAURS
‘Worcestershire’ sounds like the most awful shire a Hobbit could possibly live.
Thrilling chase underway
Establish dominance by walking around a Spirit Halloween dressed as Santa Claus.
Mark Zuckerberg looks like he is secretly struggling to refrain from licking his own eyeball with his tongue.
I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death this little fort I made out of mashed potato with gravy as a moat and the carrots are cannons. Sorry, what were you saying?
I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.
Coworker: It’ll either work or it won’t.
Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.
hey i know we haven’t talked since high school but we’re celebrating our 10 year friendversary on facebook. what are u up to tonight lol
One day you’re young and carefree and the next your husband says something like “the bowl can’t be hotter than the soup” and you’re trying to figure out when this old man moved into your home.
[superhero meeting]
“What’s your enemy called?”
“Dr Doom. Yours?”
“Joker”
[stifles laughter]
“I HAVE OTHERS”
“Ye-”
“Penguin”
[just loses it]
Instead of mistletoe, I should hang up green citrus fruits.
..so when I stand under them, I’ll feel sublime.
I don’t usually post things like this on here but,
My Mom is in the ICU with the Coronavirus and she’s not doing well.
I’m devestated. She is one of the most important people in my life.
So if any of you could spare some prayers or good thoughts, It would mean the world to me.
ME: all the King’s horses and men couldn’t put u back together
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now
M: [opening package of bacon] I’ll think of something
HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you.
ME: Ok well… I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end
HER: wtf?
Even in mid-air, when we
can see nothing but the clouds, my kid can still rock the question, ‘are we there yet’
French guy (showing me his yachts): This is Un. This is Deux. This is Trois. This is Quatre. This is Six.
Me: Where’s the 5th?
FG: Cinq.
it’s giving duvet, it’s quiltcore, if the vibe was sleepy time she’s serving honk shoooo honk shoooo