What kind of therapist does a cat see?
A pspspsychologist
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Replace someone’s MRI with a dancing skeleton gif once, and you’ll never be asked to deliver bad news again.
*Runs fingers over Braille calendar*
Is this a date? It feels like a date.
Throwing it back to 3 weeks ago today, when I came home for lunch…and I’m still here.
Why isn’t Cindy spelled Sindie? Whoever caid C makes an S cound was ctupid.
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, “Would you take a photo of me?” If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
Who called it a condom and not a weenie beanie?
I ran out of chips so I dipped string cheese in my queso and I guess I’m keto now
CarefulWhere’s your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks.
microdosing therapy by detailing all my problems when the applebee’s waiter asks “how we doin’ tonight?”
Don’t tell me what your cats’ names are, I’ll call’em what I want.
Oh, Mittens & Snuggles?
WRONG. THAT’S WILDSTYLE & THAT’S SNACKMOUTH.