@BuckyIsotope

“What’s up, doc?” says Bugs Bunny. “Not you,” laughs the doctor. “Take these little blue pills.”
*Looney Tunes music plays*

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@_iTrevii

You gotta Snapchat, dm, and text your girl all @ the same time. That way if you piss her off in 1 convo, you still have two lives left.

@BuckyIsotope

Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him.

@JermHimselfish

I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don’t text me back.

@sixfootcandy

It’s amusing when people wave back at me on hiking trails when all I’m really doing is swatting away flies.

@FlyoverJoel

The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.

@KatieDeal99

The faster the ponytail bounces the more purposeful the woman walking

@Mom_Overboard

Yeah I do yoga.

Ninja Yoga.

I’m so good at it, you won’t even see me there.

@pauleggleston

Meatloaf was so named because of his incredible likeness to his father, Meatlo.