Children change a lot of things like now if I get lost in a corn maze I just lay down and take a nap or run toward the guy with a chainsaw.
When you meet a flat-earther in real life don’t bother arguing. You need to immediately outcrazy that shit. “Don’t tell me you believe in ‘Earth,’” you’ll demand.
You Might Also Like
“How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund.”
– How ING Bank got its name
Hear me out….
A pub crawl, but to bakeries.
The name’s Bondjamesbond. James Bondjamesbond.
dracula: *bites neck*
me: oh, I should probably warn you-
me: i am 50% garlic bread
Mom just reminded me of the time I got in trouble at church for purposefully and repeatedly pronouncing the “Ch” sound in Christ and pretending that I hadn’t heard the correct pronunciation before.
This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers.
Dear stupid people, there’s a thin line between the upper and lower lip. Seal it !!
BREAKING: Man arrested for owning a waterbed. Police reported that “it’s not really illegal, but a waterbed in 2014? That’s just creepy.”
[Me, a famous art thief]
Art Garfunkel: Please put me down