@SondraDeeMe It may be autocorrect, but I’m excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress.
@KatieDeal99 When your daughter asks “are your snacks more important than me??” you should NOT pause to think.
I know this now.
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@SondraDeeMe 
@DanMentos My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.
@TheAlexNevil This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
@HatfieldAnne We’ve all talked about throwing a dirty dish away instead of washing it. But only some of us have done it.
@nikepinksunrise Mars rover quietly killing whatever life it finds.
@brendohare By the end of their life, everyone will have appeared in at least two Fast & Furious movies
@JohnLyonTweets Of course I consume a lot of carbs. I don’t want to get decarbohydrated.
@gerryhallcomedy A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I’ve been referring to the office as “ruthless” since then. People are pissed.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee 16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said “Listen to it, it’ll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew.
@SortaBad “holy crap….um guys?!” – the first caterpillar to wake up out of a cocoon