When your daughter asks “are your snacks more important than me??” you should NOT pause to think.

I know this now.

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It may be autocorrect, but I’m excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress.


My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.


This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.


We’ve all talked about throwing a dirty dish away instead of washing it. But only some of us have done it.


By the end of their life, everyone will have appeared in at least two Fast & Furious movies


Of course I consume a lot of carbs. I don’t want to get decarbohydrated.


A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I’ve been referring to the office as “ruthless” since then. People are pissed.


16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said “Listen to it, it’ll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew.


“holy crap….um guys?!” – the first caterpillar to wake up out of a cocoon